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2008
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September
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Career Test
09/14/08
A young man's parents were trying to figure out what their son's future career would be so they decided to give him a test.
They took a twenty dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren -
Impossible Task
09/14/08
NASA was celebrating, they had just made the scientific breakthrough of a lifetime.
As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.
He p -
How Government Works
09/14/08
The government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, and hired a person for the job.
Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a plann -
Standards
09/10/08
A high-priced call girl brings a customer to her fancy apartment. He admires the fancy furnishings and the art and asks how she was able to amass such splendor. She replies that those really were her father's, that he was a politician for forty years.
He said, "How come you didn -
Bill Clinton Tries To Get Into Heaven
09/10/08
Clinton died and went to heaven or to be more accurate, approached the Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter.
"It's me, President Bill Clinton."
"And what do you want?" asked St. P -
Right To Vote
09/10/08
Like any experienced Chicago politician, Obama would go the cemetary to register voters. One night he came across a grave so old and worn that he couldn't make out the name on the tombstone. The staffer holding the flashlight got impatient and suggested they just move on to the next plot. Obama -
Fishing For The Presidency
09/10/08
The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The cand -
Why Some People Will Vote For Barack Obama
09/10/08
Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Jimmy doesn't want to be the worst President in history.
Q. Why will Senator Hillary Clinton vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he stole the primary election fair and square.
Q. Why will Jane Fonda vote fo -
Rules Politicians Live By
09/04/08
An honest answer can cost you the election.
The truth is what others will believe.
If it's worth fighting for, it's worth fighting dirty for.
Don't lie, cheat or steal...unnecessarily.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
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